Below are the 14 most recent journal entries recorded in the Sanity Faerie's LiveJournal:

Tuesday, December 25th, 2007
12:26 am	My own philosophical sticking-point So, I've been in a number of interesting conversations about the nature of Christianity over the years, ever seeking Truth, and I think I've recently come to an understanding of my difficulties with it. I am a Deist - I believe in the existence of God, but have little else to say on the matter. Beyond that, though, I'm something I'd like to call Christianity-aligned. I grew up Christian, I have numerous friends who are Christian (including one who has been considering taking up the cloth), pretty much all of my immediate family is Christian (including one who *has* taken up the cloth) and so forth. Christianity is my default religion, and the fact that I'm Not Christian had to be explicitly stated in the function call. I've had a number of discussions with a number of Christians about faith - many of them Born Again, and I have a fair amount of respect for their take on things. I've heard their stories, and I'm even, at this point, willing to take on faith (and not even all that much faith) that their God exists. I've heard a number of stories about how people finally accepted and opened their hearts to God, just a little - just enough, but did so honestly - said "All right, Lord. I'm listening. Show me." Every time I've heard about that happening, openly and honestly (if, with some frequency, reluctantly) I've heard also that a few years down the line, the person was seriously, profoundly Christian. Every time I've heard it, they had that same sort of Not Christianity I have, but from my point of view, that doesn't really matter - after all, I have it. I would imagine it is different for those who have other faiths in their background culture, but I've not done that sort of study. So, as far as I can see, and I don't have proof for any of this, but it *does* seem to be largely accurate, there's this divine being. He may or may not be the Creator - I have no way of knowing. When people who are like me open their hearts up and let him in, when we forego our saving throw, as long as we do it openly and honestly and don't back out later on, eventually we become devout Christians. He wants our souls and devotion and trust, and he is, apparently, arbitrarily convincing in his arguments. I don't trust him. I don't trust him at all. His descriptions of the world seems to be custom-wrought to make sure that once people get in, they never leave. He uses emotional blackmail of the worst sort - basically, that we are all horribly sinful and unworthy, and that the only thing that even begins to make us clean is that he suffered for us, and... and maybe it's all honest and straightforward and correct. Maybe it is - but I don't know, and I can't know, and there's no way for me to know. He could just be really, really convincing. Even if I *did* open myself up, I wouldn't know. I'd just be convinced. After all, it does seem like "arbitrarily convincing" fits under the umbrella of "omnipotent". Can anyone provide useful insight here? am I getting any of this wrong? (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, September 21st, 2006
9:03 pm	Huh. It turns out I do take some things on faith after all. They are few in number, and quite plausible, but they're definately there. I'm finding this surprisingly easy to accept. ...and the stream wears away the stone a little further. (Comment on this)
Monday, March 27th, 2006
2:51 am	The Sanity Faerie's Primer on Guys There's this strange thing that happens in a lot of relationships. Very subtle people and very unsubtle people get together all the time, and hilarity ensues. The subtle people can't understand why the unsubtle people aren't reacting right, and the unsubtle people (we'll call them "guys") don't understand much of *anything*. Thus, Sanityfaerie's Primer on Guys... because in any relationship, *someone* ought to know what's going on, and it ain't gonna be the guy. ( Sanityfaerie's primer on Guys ) Feedback of all sorts welcomed. (9 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 21st, 2006
8:23 pm	Another little offering For those of you who might be curious, this is not, in fact, autobiographical. It's more of a myth/folktale than anything else. It's just a little newer than most. ( Love of the Many ) (4 Comments |Comment on this)
1:07 am	Another little story. I hope that you enjoy. ( The Siren song of FREEDOM. ) So...what do you think? (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, November 24th, 2005
6:28 am	a couple of things I wrote back in Basic (part 2) As that was the first, this is the second. I'm splitting them up because they might be a bit much to take in one sitting as is. ( We do what we must. ) All feedback is welcomed and appreciated. (Comment on this)
6:28 am	a couple of things I wrote back in Basic (part 1) since I've decided to open up the archives here is the first of two bits of military poetry ( Know this. ) (Comment on this)
6:22 am	A character study ( This one can be a bit disturbing. ) (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 23rd, 2005
10:40 pm	All but one? "All but one? ALL BUT ONE??? You Fool!" "but Dark Lord, what's the problem? He is but one man." "SHUT UP! You're mmmaking it wwoorrse. I told you to kill all of them. 'Kill them all.' I said. 'Kill them all.' Not 'Kill most of them.' Certainly not 'Kill all but one of them.'" "But Master, what's the difference?" "Simpleton. Dark armies swoop in on an unprepared and peaceful people, living in the mountains. They slaughter everyone. Everyone. What is that?" "An atrocity, M'Lord." "That's right. An atrocity. I am an evil overlord. I have quite a large atrocity budget in any given year. Now. Consider the other possibility. Dark armies swoop in on an unprepared and peaceful people, still living in the mountains, and slaughter all but one of them. All but one! Do you know what That is?" "Another atrocity?" "No, you fool. It's...an...origin...story.... You are a dead man walking. Dead. You have no chance to survive. Make your time. I, on the other hand, still do have a chance. Unfortunately, well, it means I'm going to have to... to..." "Yes, Master?" "To reform." (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, September 19th, 2005
6:51 pm	Burning Angel This is actually the first story I ever posted to the web. Now that I'm putting up LJ-fiction, I'm posting it here. ( I hope you enjoy. ) (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, September 18th, 2005
3:02 am	A bit of fiction Just a little something I wrote about sand. You should read it. It will do you good, or, at least, it will do you no harm from which you cannot quickly recover. now with LJ-cuts! Whee! ( Be warned... ) There now, that wasn't so bad, was it? I'd love to get feedback in any form. Compliments are good. Constructive criticism is good. Death threats are good. It's all good. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, August 29th, 2005
6:17 pm	I have a heresy. I have a heresy. There's this thing that happens, to any hierarchical system. The people at the top lose sight of what's going on at the bottom. It's not deliberate, necessarily, and it doesn't always come from a lack of care or desire to understand. It's just one of the problems that tends to crop up when you have a system where powerful peope make decisions for less powerful people based on the information that those less powerful people give them. Intervening levels smooth off the rough edges and apply a little shine and sometimes arrange things artfully, and what starts out as a tree winds up as a bookcase. It's called echelons above reality, and it keeps going because the people who fight it get hurt by the people who depend on it. It's a fact of life that really, really, the only way to understand the suffering of the masses, to really see what's happening to them, is to step down among them and experience it. The only way to really understand why someone might risk his hand for a loaf of bread is to starve yourself until your hand starts to look appetizing. Otherwise, at some level, you just don't get it. I have a heresy. If you think about it, who's at the top? Who's really at the top - in the clouds so damn far he could never, ever understand in a million years? Who, of all the beings in the world, has absolutely the least chance to understand what you, or I are going through? Who? Why, that would be God. I have a heresy. Then, he sent Jesus. Jesus walked among the people. He supped with whores and tax collectors and lepers and the meek and the starving. He survived on the generosity of others, and he tried to understand them, and he knew temptation, and he debated religion even as a small child, and he grew enraged at the moneylenders in his father's house and he had friends and followers who he spoke to every day and he made enemies and he knew despair and he was betrayed by a kiss and he suffered and he suffered and he suffered and he died. That, then, is the fundamental difference between the God of the Old Testament and the God of the new. That was the God who once transformed a woman into salt for looking back, who struck Israel with plague because David took a census, who hardened the heart of Pharaoh time and time again, because he just wasn't done beating on Egypt yet. That is why this God now speaks of mercy and forgiveness, and lays His hand but gently on this world, in miracles too soft to prove. This is a God who understands. That, then, was what the Cross was all about. That was the whole point. It wasn't that Jesus was working his way through all the sins of the world. It was that Jesus was suffering, truly suffering, in about as much agony as they could manage in that time, in that place. It was finishing God's understanding of the human condition, so that when he came back, God could say "oh. I get it. Yes, I'll forgive you, if you'll take it. I know what you went through. I've been there." Just a thought. the Sanity Faerie Current Music: Jesus's ipod playlist (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 9th, 2005
8:34 pm	I've got a little link. http://www.sapphyr.net/intro.htm It has a lot of little wisdoms in it. Some of them are sure to be helpful. the Sanity Faerie Current Mood: at peace (Comment on this)
Thursday, February 26th, 2004
6:27 am	change in perspective a wandering thought... - Joining the Army does things to your perspective on life. For example, after the first time you think to yourself "Hey, we're all going to cram into the back of a 5-ton (large truck with limited shocks) in full gear and ride down a terribly bumpy road for about ten miles. Great! I can catch up a bit on sleep!" you never look at the concept of "free time" quite the same way, ever again. (12 Comments |Comment on this)